Scenes We'd Like To See

[formula1fan]

Here's a little game that I thought we could do. It's called 'Scenes We'd Like To See', and it is lifted directly from Mock The Week, the BBC panel show hosted by Dara O'Briain. I post a 'Scene We'd Like To See', and you post your suggestions. There are, however, a few rules that I would like to implement.
1. Please asterisk swearing (or, better still, leave it out).
2. NO double posting.
3. Following on from the above rule, there will be a limit of 5 suggestions per post.
I was going to say 'Don't use the ones that have already been used on Mock The Week itself', but that would have been a bit tight.

Okay. The first scenario is:
"Things a new Pope Shouldn't say in his first public speech".

Have fun!

[LHC]

"I used to be part of the Nazi party"

[@lun]

"It was nice of them to let me out for the day, that padded room was really getting to me."

[Georgie]

'The rumors about the small boys in my quarters, were just *ahem* rumors....'

[Jacob_Towers]

"How do you like my new implants?"

[Adz]

"Russell brand is nothing compared to me ;) "

:lol:

[formula1fan]

"I felt something other than myself whilst I was praying."
I'll post the next scene in a day or two.

[Morgan]

"I've had your daughter"

[formula1fan]

Okay, the next topic is:
"Books heading straight for the remaindered bin".
EDIT: In other words, books you'd find in a bargain bin.

[formula1fan]

Any ideas for the above scenario, guys? If I don't get any by tomorrow, then I'll post a new one. ;)

[Morgan]

"How to make Friends & Influence People" by A. Hitler. :amused:

[Adz]

"How to become a druggie" by A. Winehouse

:lol: I couldn't resist!

[lowndesy]

"How to cook 4 humans" by Armin Meiwes

[Jacob_Towers]

"How to boil an egg" by Delia Smith

[Moley89]

Mark Ronson's Guide to Songwriting.

[Jacob_Towers]

"My Autobiography" - Heather Mills

[formula1fan]

"How to become a druggie" by A. Winehouse

:lol: I couldn't resist!
lol Adz, that's the funniest one of this round! Actually, that's given me an idea. I'm going to turn this into a competition, with a point going to the user who posted the funniest suggestion for each scenario. The winner will be announced when all of the scenarios have been posted.

So far, the scores are as follows:
Georgie -1pt
Adz - 1pt

The next scenario is: "Slogans the Tory Party should have used in the General Election". This might be a bit out of date, but let's see what you've got. :D

[Georgie]

'We have smaller ears ;)'

[Morgan]

"We'll make sure we use Recorded Delivery" :P

[Georgie]

"We'll make sure we use Recorded Delivery" :P

hahahaha amazing!

[Aaron]

"We'll make sure we use Recorded Delivery" :P

I'm going to be picky and pull that statement apart :P Working in a post office you learn things about posting methods (pretty good to know if people are ripping you off on ebay).

Recorded Delivery only gets a signature if it gets there. No guarantees it will get there. Special Delivery guarantees to get there the next day and will get a signature. :nerd2:

Send it special!

Aaron8-)

[Morgan]

:rolleyes: There's always one :P

[Jacob_Towers]

"Just F***ing vote for us"

[formula1fan]

Any more ideas for this one, guys?

[formula1fan]

I think Jacob_Towers wins that round!

The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 1pt
Jacob_Towers - 1pt
The next topic is: "If politicians endorsed products":)

[formula1fan]

Any ideas for the above scenario, guys? Oh, and once you have posted in this topic, you can post again, and as many users as possible can post for each scenario. You can post as many times as you want for each topic, but only 5 'lines' per post, and no double-posting.

Just wanted to remind you of the rules. :)

[Morgan]

Lembit Opik would probably endorse the Cheeky Girls Greatest Hits Album. :P

[formula1fan]

I'll be posting the next scenario next week, so I would love it if you could get your suggestions in as soon as possible. ;)

[formula1fan]

Any more ideas for the scenario 'Slogans the Tory Party should have used in the General Election', guys? I'll be posting the next scenario on Tuesday/Wednesday, so get your suggestions in as soon as possible.

[Jacob_Towers]

Um... I thought the one you were currently doing was if polititians endorsed products.

[formula1fan]

Oh yeah, you're right, Jacob! My mistake. Sorry, guys! The actual scenario I would like your suggestions for is, like Jacob said, 'If politicians endorsed products'.

My mistake, guys. :mellow:

[Adz]

Gordon Brown: "Buy new! Blaire aftershave, it'll be a total shambles"

God that's crap :lol:

[Moley89]

Boris Johnson's Reinforced Hubcaps "Not even the most experienced of Scousers could nick this!"

[formula1fan]

Moley89 wins that round.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 1pt
Jacob_Towers - 1pt
Moley89 - 1pt
The next topic is: "Unsettling things to hear in the White House".

[Moley89]

4 More Years!

[Georgie]

'ahhh Mr Bin Laden, nice to see you again'

[LHC]

We have a deal then.
The rest of your oil for 15 of our nuclear weapons. Don't worry, they aren't the second hand weapons this time.

[Jacob_Towers]

Am I still President?!?! Bloody hell!

[Morgan]

"Where would like your cigar"

[formula1fan]

Anybody else got any ideas for this scenario?

[formula1fan]

LHC wins that round.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 1pt
Jacob_Towers - 1pt
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 1pt
The next scenario is a bit irrelevant now, but let's have a crack at it anyway. It is: "Discarded titles for the next Harry Potter Book".

[Jacob_Towers]

"Harry Potter hits Puberty"

[LHC]

"Harry Potter and the Outbreak of AIDS at Hogwarts"

[Morgan]

Harry Potter and the Discovery of Council Tax

[formula1fan]

Harry Potter and the Sexual Encounter that gave him chlamidya.
It's a bit rubbish, but it's still good.

[Ben]

Harry Potter and the prisoner of iraq

[Adz]

Harry Potter and the Curse of the HIV

*when reading, say the HIV out as if its a word, and then it's pronounced correctly ;) *

[formula1fan]

Any more ideas, guys? I'm sorry that I haven't posted on here for about a week, but I just haven't had the time. Have fun!

[Manny]

I say just leave it as the Chamber of Sectrets, if you know what I mean.

[Robert Trollslayer]

"Lord Harry Potter and the Complete Brainwashing of the Nation into Thinking This is Actually Original and not stolen from every Fantasy Classic Ever...of the Rings"

"A Harry Potter of Earthsea" (please look up A Wizard of Earthsea and get this joke!)

"Harry Potter and Dumbledore's Stash of Rohypnol"

[formula1fan]

Jacob_Towers wins that round.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 1pt
Jacob_Towers - 2pts
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 1pt
The next scenario is: 'Things you shouldn't say to the Queen on being given your honour'.
Enjoy.

[Jacob_Towers]

"Cheers luv, fancy a pint?"

"on ma knees in front of the queen... what a place to be"

"Hey... talking of Coronations... I'm missing Corrie. Got to dash"

[Georgie]

'haha you silly c***'

[Adz]

"Fancy shooting round the back later? I got a right coronation for you ;) "

God that sounds wrong :lol:

[formula1fan]

Adz, mate, they say stuff like that on Mock the Week loads, so don't get too worried! Still, it's a good one.

[Manny]

"Ah yes thank You, that remnds me I must buy a stamp" OK Stephen Fry came up with thst but it's worth mentioning.

[Morgan]

"Short back & sides plaease"

[formula1fan]

Adz wins that round.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 2pts
Jacob_Towers - 2pts
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 1pt
The next scenario is: 'Bad ways to start a Party Political Broadcast'/
Enjoy. :)

[Jacob_Towers]

havent we already had this one?

[Morgan]

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to a party political broadcast" - then gets kicked in the balls by an old woman.

[formula1fan]

Any more ideas, peeps? I've been on holiday for a few days, so I haven't been able to post on here as much as I'd have liked to.

Keep your suggestions coming. Oh, and Jacob_Towers, no, we haven't had this one already.

[LHC]

*camera starts rolling with Gordon Brown with a voodoo doll of a teacher and a pin, stabbling it as many times as possible. Brown realises the camera, looks around where to place the doll and pin, puts them down and does a cheesy smile at the camera*
"Good evening, we at the Labour party would like to share your complaints about the upcoming strike of the National Union for Teachers"

[formula1fan]

I am aware that as it has been the Easter holidays for some people, I'm going to keep the scenario "Bad ways to start a Party Political Broadcast" open until Thursday next week, because I feel that it's a bit unfair to judge it on only two ideas.

Kepp them coming.

[formula1fan]

I know I've only had two replies for this scenario, but it's better to move it on than to be stuck around for ages on the same scenario. LHC wins that one.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 2pts
Jacob_Towers - 2pts
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 2pts
The next scenario is: 'Things you'd never hear a French person say'.
Enjoy. :)

[LHC]

"I hate Napoleon and I love the English"

[Aaron]

Whats the Eiffel Tower?

Aaron 8-)

[Jacob_Towers]

"actually, I think I will have the steak pie with chips please"

[Manny]

"We will never surrender!"

[formula1fan]

Aaron wins that round.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 2pts
Jacob_Towers - 2pts
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 2pts
Aaron - 1pt
The next scenario is: 'What the voices in Tony Blair's head are saying'. This should be a really good one. Have fun! :thumbsup:

[Jacob_Towers]

"Eeeeeeeeeewwwww... why the hell did you marry her?"

[lowndesy]

" Thank god I've dodged those bullets"

[Morgan]

"You were a great PM"

[Georgie]

'i dont care, i dont care, i dont care'

---
for those that dont get it, thats in reference to his speach where he said 'education education education' referencing that that was his 3 main concerns to change. lol

[formula1fan]

lowndsey wins that round. Welcome to the game.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 2pts
Jacob_Towers - 2pts
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 2pts
Aaron - 1pt
lowndsey - 1pt
The next scenario is: 'Things a Wimbledon commentator would never say'.
Enjoy. :P

[lowndesy]

"...and finally an ENGLISH man has won wimbledon."

[Jacob_Towers]

".... and back to Serena, woah! Look at the ass on that!"

[formula1fan]

Any more ideas for this scenario, guys?

[formula1fan]

Jacob_Towers wins that round.
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 2pts
Jacob_Towers - 3pts
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 2pts
Aaron - 1pt
lowndsey - 1pt
The next scenario is: 'TV shows that never made it to air'. I want more than two suggestions for this scenario, guys! :P

[formula1fan]

Any ideas for this scenario?

[formula1fan]

Seeing as I've got no replies for scenario 12, I'm posting number 13, with double points!
The scores are as follows:
Georgie - 1pt
Adz - 2pts
Jacob_Towers - 3pts
Moley89 - 1pt
LHC - 2pts
Aaron - 1pt
lowndsey - 1pt
The next scenario is: 'Unlikely things for the Queen to include in her annual message'.
I hope that this one will be better than the previous scenario. Remember, it's double points for the best scenario, so make them funny! :rolleyes:

[Corey]

"I'm pregnant!"

This reminds me, no, is exactly like the game Scenes From A Hat from Whose Line Is It Anyway?.

[force]

"one is having a secret love afair with prince harry" :P

[Manny]

Where am I? What's going on? This isn't Windsor.

[LHC]

"I did not like my visit to Alton Towers. My crown came off on oblivion and Phillip keeps on laughing at the photograph of me on rita"

[force]

Fcuk :P it this queen business is to hard
"shoots herslef" :P